I have spent several years working, progressively, through a deep, introspective exploration of all that makes me who I am, especially spiritually. To achieve improvement on my work, I concluded I would have to break myself down to absolutely nothing, so that I could rise again from a clear foundation. I began to study about my heritage, which connects me to Norse history and Norse paganism. I read the eddas and the myths which formed the building blocks of my family, and my deep connection to nature. I explored pagan beliefs, esoteric and occult practices; I read about the neo-pagan cults from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and a renaissance of spiritual curiosity that had long been stifled by the strict religious dogma of the church. I was inspired by Aleister Crowley’s writing about philosophical freedom, and interconnectivity.
Through paganism I gained more clarity as to why I have always felt a deep connection with the earth and the cosmos. Growing up in Canada where I was surrounded by the wilderness, I allowed myself to connect with the spirit of the earth, even though I was never able to articulate it nor understand it. I started to realise that pagan beliefs as well as the major religions, not only Norse or European, but globally, were all tapping into this same feeling. Trying to explain what it was they felt, and why they felt it. A tipping point in my journey to re-approach my content and practice was reached.

From these occult influences, I started experimenting with sacred geometry; this led me into a deep fascination with resonance, frequency, and fractal mathematics and how these relate to sacred geometry. I concluded that sacred geometry and paganism/occult mysticism are an interpretation of deep mathematical connections that exist within the universe. This was a profound realisation to me at that moment, the understanding that mathematics, physics, and astronomy were not mutually exclusive to spirituality, but rather they were two sides of the same coin. I realised there were also two sides within me. My sceptical, logical and rational fact-based mind, and the deep internal feeling of spiritual connection towards my surroundings. I began distilling sacred geometry down, trying to analyse the core of it with deeper abstraction. With less reliance on standard and historic concepts, the relative abandonment of representational art and the pursuit of abstraction.

Using lines, the circular form and mathematics to meditate on spirituality and interconnectivity, I also became aware of the rising sense of existential absurdity. It is something I had always felt but had not been able to articulate. I started to contrast the divine, balanced and hypnotic circular form with a counter balance, flat black forms that shatter the illusion of reality and enforce the absurd reality of our limitations.

My painting process is also an articulation of the dichotomy between the divine and the random, the perfect and the absurd. It begins with working out a composition through roughs: I make miniature versions in up to 30 variations, trying out combinations, mixing and matching forms until I find the one that pleases me. Then I plot the composition on paper, using an assortment of drafting tools as well as templates of my own design. I draw the circular forms by hand, measuring all the angles and points through a geometric formula, not using a compass. A perfect sense of 3-dimensionality is achieved through these circular forms, a sense of volume, space, depth and movement created from overlapping lines. Then I shatter this impression of perfection by the imposition of flat geometric forms in black ink that bring us back to the reality that this is just a constructed 2-dimensional image. Yet this act is not meant as a denial of the sacred and divine: in fact the width dimensions of the flat black shapes are derived from the golden ratio diameter of the each of the circles. Rather than existing in separate realms, all these shapes speak to the spirituality of mathematics itself, to its presence all around us. Yet it is up to me how I use these formulas, how I relate to this presence, how I create my own life.

The absurdity lies in the perpetual question, “What is the meaning of life?” It’s like screaming into the wind asking for an answer while knowing the answer will never come, and continuing to scream anyways. But rather than seeing this as a limitation, it became freeing for me.

In line with the philosophers Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Søren Kierkegaard, it was the point when I realised that there can never be a true understanding of our purpose. Not through thought, reason, or mathematics. To understand this, was to let go, and begin the next stage of existential development. To be truly free.

The balance between dark and light, black and white, yin and yang, have always been very attractive to me. Sharp contrast, depth, the desire to shed the colours of older work. I did not feel it was relevant anymore, it did not serve a purpose and was only a distraction. All that matters now is black and white. Creating depth and motion, tension and ease, movement and flow, form and shape, volume, all through the use of static line, circular form, and black shapes. All part of the process of shedding everything that is unnecessary. Distilling the image down to only what is important to the composition and the message, to what has meaning.